Until 2014, the Eurovision Song Contest wasn’t something I was inclined to watch, other than checking in towards the very end to see how the UK was doing. However, in 2014 I happened to be at a loose end on the evening the contest took place, so I decided to watch it, and comment on Twitter as I did so – with plenty of cider handy.
I enjoyed doing that so much that I’ve repeated the exercise each year since – and this year, I’ve decided to pull my comments off Twitter and copy them here.
I could probably have written some code to do this, but instead I copied the tweets manually the day after the show, adding the links etc over the last couple of days, before finally publishing today. It’s very likely that I will have messed up a link or three (particularly those to the tweets themselves) – so apologies if I have.
All typos, spelling mistakes, questionable grammar, and any other mistakes were probably made on the night in question, with the assistance of what I was drinking. 🙂
I’ve broken the list down into sections, with subtitled as necessary for which act, etc, was performing, and dropped in a link to each act’s performance on YouTube, as well as some additional pictures, commentary or explanation where it’s likely to help. And in one or two cases, I’ll link to specific parts of the full contest on YouTube. The one change I’ve made to the tweets themselves is to take out the ‘#eurovision’ tag, unless it formed part of a sentence or was needed for the tweet to make sense.
So, onto the tweets!
In the run up
- 7:45pm – I’ve stocked up on cider/snacks (though I’ve slightly depleted both already tonight) and will again be tweeting silliness during #eurovision
- 7:48pm – This time I’ll make a point of grabbing my #eurovision tweets at some point tomorrow and throwing them up on misc.vinceh.com
- 8:02pm – This year’s #eurovision theme is apparently celebrate diversity. I think Diversity is a naff band, isn’t it? Don’t think I like them.
- 8:03pm – The stage looks familiar
- 8:03pm – The structure above it
- 8:05pm – give me a longer view of the stage you buggers
- 8:06pm – Or I could just pause it at the right moment and forward through this bit after!
- 8:07pm – Got it! Just before they introduced germany – quick pause and step back… and I’ve worked it out…
- 8:08pm – This year’s #eurovision stage design is based on the USS Voyager
- 8:09pm – fyi: https://duckduckgo.com/?q=uss+voyager&yeg=B&ia=images&iax=1
- 8:11pm – Tried to post an individual pic, but Twitter refused suggesting the tweet was automated. WTF?
- 8:12pm – Trying to catch up – but did that bloke say his name is Vulva?
- 8:13pm – Where’s the rest of the boy band?
- 8:13pm – And for that matter, where’s the rest of his clothes?
- 8:13pm – At least put a shirt on over that vest, dude – you’re performing in front of how many people?
- 8:14pm – That special effect on the screen of him breaking to pieces? Shouldn’t be a special effect
- 8:14pm – Dunk him in liquid nitrogen, then do it for real.
- 8:15pm – The light show became an explosion of colour and effects – to distract from the boy-band-esque pap?
- 8:16pm – Wait, what? Her brother fiddling with her?
(That was a reference to something I think I heard Graham Norton say during the introduction to this entry.)
- 8:17pm – Another one who hasn’t finished getting dressed. Should she have a proper skirt outside the see through one?
- 8:18pm – Norton meant bro would be playing the fiddle. That makes more sense. My mind blanked an entire instrument.
- 8:19pm – Yup!
…in reply to Ben Avison at 8:18pm – Of course #Brexit will demolish the UK’s chances at #Eurovision this year (+ foreseeable future) despite bookies’ patriotic odds
- 8:20pm – This pair look like they’ll be fun
- 8:21pm – Is it just me or does it sound like they’re singing in Welsh?
- 8:21pm – Boyo
- 8:21pm – Belarus, a small mining town on the edge of the Brecon Beacons.
- 8:22pm – #eurovion I’ve probably popped in a cafe there on my way back from the hills for a walk
- 8:22pm – Oops – hashtag typ #eurovision I’ve probably popped in a cafe there on my way back from the hills for a walk
- 8:22pm – I’m not that tipsy yet, promise!
- 8:23pm – Those costumes are unsuitable for the mines
Nathan Trent – “Running on Air”
- 8:24pm – Isn’t it about time Austria resurrected Mozart for this contest? Zombie performer FTW!
- 8:24pm – Sitting down on the job.
- 8:24pm – Lazy git
- 8:25pm – Now he’s standing on the furniture with his shows on. Does he do that at home?
- 8:25pm – No respect.
- 8:26pm – When he was standing on/in the chair, I suppose that made him the man in the moon
- 8:26pm – Which explains the cheesiness of the song
- 8:27pm – Someone push him down.
- 8:27pm – I think I say something like this every year, but as a RISC OS user, #ARM FTW!
- 8:28pm – Those braids at the front of her hair are weird
- 8:28pm – Might be a current trend or something, but I’ve never seen it before.
- 8:29pm – I’m a dedicated ignorer of fashion
- 8:29pm – I like this
- 8:31pm – I can’t stop seeing USS Voyager in the stage design now
- 8:31pm – I said #arm ftw as a joke before – but seriously, I liked that. If it won, it’d deserve it.
- 8:32pm – “Lights and Shadows” ? Is this a song about Babylon 5?
- 8:32pm – Wibblewooshfandango Eurovision is a three edged sword wibblywobblyfizzpop
- 8:32pm – This year’s Babylon 5 entry is performed by Elizabeth Lockley, Susan Ivanova, and Talia Winters
- 8:33pm – Where’s Lyta Alexander? I always liked Lyta.
- 8:33pm – Especially when she went all black eyed
- 8:33pm – Best bit ever? When she whispered “Pain!” to a security guard and he keeled over. Gotta love a woman who can do that!
(Before publishing this, I took a quick look on YouTube in the hope that clip would be available but, unfortunately, I couldn’t find it.)
- 8:34pm – Uber powerful red headed teep with dodgy allegiances FTW!
- 8:34pm – This bunch? Not so much.
Interlude / Break
Interlude at 35:21 into the Contest
Sunstroke Project – “Hey Mamma”
- 8:37pm – Is it just me or is this similar to the Israel one at the start?
- 8:38pm – another boy band – but this time with the rest of the band
- 8:38pm – Has anyone told them the Hokey Cokey is about more than just the right leg?
- 8:38pm – You put the right leg in… and then the right leg… and then the right leg… I’m sure there’s more.
- 8:39pm – OTT Saxaphone guy FTW!
- 8:39pm – was he trying to moonwalk?
- 8:40pm – This is the key^w costume change
- 8:40pm – A bit weird, but annoyingly catchy
- 8:41pm – Norton said it’s called origo – Sung to the tune of Whitesnake’s “Here I Go Again”?
Whitesnake – “Here I Go Again”
- 8:41pm – “Origo again on my own…”
- 8:42pm – DId that say his name’s paypal or something?
(Close – it’s Joci Pápai)
- 8:42pm – What’s with the jug?
- 8:42pm – Oh – it’s an instrument.
- 8:42pm – I’d like to take the piss out of the lyrics, but I’ve no idea what they are.
- 8:43pm – Something about llamas?
- 8:43pm – Something about a samurai?
- 8:44pm – Can we just concentrate on the violinist please?
- 8:44pm – The dancer looked like she banged her head on the floor.
- 8:44pm – Hence the pained expression on her face!
Francesco Gabbani – “Occidentali’s Karma”
- 8:46pm – He’s come straight here from working at a casino.
- 8:46pm – Hence the back of a playing card pattern behind him.
- 8:46pm – What shall we do about costumes for the backing singers? Meh. Just give ’em different coloured jumpers!
- 8:47pm – This is the joint entry from Italy and Planet of the Apes.
- 8:47pm – That’s in Europe now as well, you know.
- 8:47pm – They joined just after Australia.
- 8:47pm – The Vulcans will be joining once we’ve developed a warp drive.
- 8:48pm – And the Klingons not long after that.
- 8:48pm – Future contests will take place in the Neutral Zone.
- 8:48pm – It’ll all be fine until it’s assimilated by the Borg.
- 8:49pm – Bit far for the contestants to go to get to the Delta Quadrant though if anyone there wins.
- 8:50pm – What? Laying down by a llama?
- 8:51pm – Worked it out. it was laying down my armour!
- 8:51pm – That does make more sense.
- 8:51pm – Though there might be perfectly good reasons to lay down by a llama.
- 8:52pm – Protection from the wind, perhaps?
- 8:52pm – Could be a bit whiffy though.
- 8:52pm – You know where I am – just follow your nose to the smelly llama
Salvador Sobral – “Amar Pelos Dois”
- 8:54pm – Portugal could only afford to rent space on the little stage.
- 8:54pm – Blimey – didn’t see this coming
- 8:54pm – Bjork has emigrated to Portugal
- 8:54pm – And had a sex change.
- 8:55pm – I preferred Bjork as a woman.
- RT DavidGArnold 8:55pm – The love child of Dappy and Swampy
- 8:56pm – Strangely engaging
Interlude / Break
- 8:57pm – Kiev’s Ant and Dec
- 8:58pm – Looks like they’ve raided the early 1980s for this entry. Yay!
- 8:59pm – This is the time travelling entry from the past
- 8:59pm – WTF? It’s called skeletons, so obviously there should be a bloke with a horse’s head.
- 8:59pm – On a ladder
- 8:59pm – makes perfect sense
- 9:00pm – Anyone who says otherwise is clearly on drugs.
- 9:00pm – Weird horse head dance on the ladder FTW!
- 9:00pm – Off with his head!
- 9:00pm – Well, the horse bit, anyway.
- 9:01pm – Yeah! Thumbs up!
- 9:02pm – Looks like Croatia have entered a young version of Meatloaf this year.
- 9:03pm – A slightly camp, young version of Meatloaf.
- 9:03pm – WTF!?
- 9:04pm – WT actual F!?
- 9:04pm – The tree on that mountain makes me think of the special tree in Shannara Chronicles
- 9:04pm – That was a bit rubbish, too.
- 9:05pm – Though violin and cello bits in the middle were good
- 9:05pm – Ths is Croatia’s schizophrenic entry
- 9:06pm – Called “Don’t come easy” – well, it is a long way.
- 9:06pm – Italy’s gorilla had to travel through time as well, though. That’s harder
- 9:06pm – Epic eyebrows.
- 9:07pm – He must be Ming the Merciless’s long lost son.
- 9:07pm – SO this must be the entry from Mongo
- 9:07pm – Not sure when they joined Europe
- 9:08pm – Probably just after we voted to leave the EU
- 9:08pm – JUst when it gets interesting, we get out
- 9:08pm – Has to be said – Yeuck
- 9:09pm – What’s his name? Isiah, or something?
- 9:09pm – He’s pronouncing ‘easy’ in a funny way. Perhaps it should be “don’t come isiah”?
- 9:09pm – DOn’t call us, we’ll call you. (We won’t, but nobody tell him)
- 9:10pm – Hey, Australia – please take him back. ASAP!
Interlude / Break
- 9:12pm – Ant and Dec are back
- 9:13pm – THis is called ‘This is Love’ – an old Numan single from mid-1980s
Gary Numan – “This is Love”
- 9:14pm – Couldn’t be more different from the Numan song, though. I’ll stick with his song.
- 9:14pm – No, not “reaching out for the stars” but “this is pain disguised as a dream”
- 9:14pm – Although in this case, it’s pain disguised as music
- 9:15pm – I hope those two didn’t have to rehearse that too much in actual water.
- 9:15pm – Poor buggers would have ended up with trenchfoot
Manel Navarro – “Do it For Your Lover”
- 9:16pm – DOn’t just reach out for the stars – go to them.
And don’t come back.
- 9:16pm – There’s a starship right above you.
- 9:17pm – Judging by the backdrop, this is the entry from the ISS.
- 9:17pm – Being performed live from the station
- 9:18pm – There’s a couple shagging in that camper van.
- 9:19pm – This is the #esp entry – but Babylon 5 has already been on on and Lyta wasn’t there.
- 9:19pm – Occurs to me there’s no projection for the live audience of the stage floor that I’ve noticed
- 9:19pm – So the floor graphics are completely lost on them.
- 9:20pm – Straightforward enough song. Cheesy but catchy. Not my cup of tea though
- 9:20pm – I’m not sure what sort of pop music is considered good these days.
- 9:20pm – Only station I ever listen to is ClassifFM unless I lose reception.
- 9:22pm – the one with the light-up mask is Mort.
- 9:22pm – Nothing against the remake – loved it – but that’s an original series Cylon.
- 9:23pm – I’m seeing a lot of science fiction references this year.
- 9:23pm – Or I’m making a lot.
- 9:23pm – Assisted by a liberal helping of cider.
- 9:23pm – Thatchers this year. Think it was Strongbow last.
- 9:24pm – Quite liked that.
Interlude / break
Interlude at 1:24:39 into the Contest
- 9:26pm – Speaking of James Bond (Kiev’s Dec juist did) – I haven’t heard any wannabe Bond themes yet
- 9:26pm – THough this guy is dressed like a wannabe Bond
- 9:27pm – Bear Grylls crossed with Gino De Campo, and dressed like Bond
- 9:28pm – MI6 training is nothing like this
Lucie Jones – “Never Give Up on You”
- 9:29pm – Us now. The country that deserves a big fat zero for voting ourselves out of the EU
- 9:29pm – We might not get zero, though. Perhaps will get something from 48% of the countries that vote.
- 9:29pm – They bought the jacket off Martin Fry from ABC and turned it into her dress.
ABC – “Poison Arrow”
- 9:29pm – Had to use second hand to keep costs down because of the value of sterling
- 9:30pm – We only have ourselves to blame.
- 9:30pm – Well, 52% of us only have ourselves to blame. The other 48% can blame the 52%.
- 9:30pm – But I really don’t fancy our chances this year!
…retweeted a reply from Andrew Conroy 9:34pm – If they really hate us, they’ll let us win then we’ll have to stump up the money to host it next year!
- 9:30pm – Regardless of the quality of the song.
- 9:31pm – Kind of feel sorry for her , really.
- 9:32pm – DOesn’t seem too terrible – We should have put something truly crap in this year.
- 9:32pm – At least then the crap result we get would reflect the song.
- 9:32pm – And that’s definitely Voyager.
- 9:33pm – Gravity sucks. Will this song?
- 9:33pm – Another one-man boy band?
- 9:34pm – He walked that straight line with no problem, so he hasn’t been drinking. Good.
- 9:34pm – Have to admit, I might have struggled a bit. 8)
- 9:34pm – They’re about to do the kick at the end of Karate Kid.
- 9:34pm – The Crane, that was it!
- 9:35pm – Gravity is so strong, it’s pulled his socks right down into his shoes.
- 9:36pm – Just cottoned on – the lines represent tightropes or something.
- 9:36pm – Didn’t have the guts to set up an actual tightrope on stage and get him to sing and dance from that.
- 9:36pm – Not at all bad that.
Ilinca ft. Alex Florea – Yodel It!
- 9:37pm – Rap and yodelling? Gimmicky entry then
- 9:38pm – Nothing wrong with gimmicky songs though. Rich history…
- 9:38pm – Yup. Gimmick. Rapping and yodelling. Why not?
- 9:38pm – Please make it stop
- 9:39pm – SOMEONE PLEASE MAKE IT STOP!
- 9:39pm – Someone get them to go through that wormhole behind them.
- 9:39pm – or just fire those cannons at them.
- 9:40pm – I’d suggest turning them into human cannonballs, but the cannons don’t look big enough.
- 9:40pm – They need to be big enough to fire them off world.
- 9:40pm – Powerful enough to reach escape velocity
9:40pm – Thank fuck that’s over!
9:42pm – Hmm.. stage floor graphics, lost on the audience if no big screen?
9:42pm – And I don’t think I’ve seen one (other than what they’re using for background graphcis)
9:42pm – That skirt reminds me – it’s about time I closed the curtains.
9:42pm – They forgot to put a proper back on her top
9:43pm – Another cost saving exercise. Less material used = cheaper.
9:43pm – Missed a trick though – they should have shaved her head. No need for a hairstylist then.
9:43pm – USS Voyager now makes sense – this must be Seven of Nine representing Germany.
9:44pm – Good entry from Germany
- 9:47pm – It’s coming up, it’s coming up, it’s coming up… it’s dare”
- 9:47pm – First thing that came to mind when I saw that head in the background – Gorillaz
Gorillaz – “Dare”
- 9:48pm – I once told someone I had a tattoo on my knee. A life size tattoo of a knee.
- 9:48pm – Yes, I was slightly drunk, and yes, it was a bizzare attempt to pull.
- 9:48pm – This is almost verging on something I could really like – but not quite getting there. It’s wrong trying to be right
- 9:49pm – Sort of like Take That (Wrong) trying to cover an Iron Maiden song (right) – doesn’t work
- 9:49pm – and what IS with the head? Is it supposed to be the giant robot from the Day the earth stood still?
- 9:49pm – Well just the head, obviously.
- 9:51pm – She looks terrified
- 9:52pm – IF she is, kudos to her for being able to perform
- 9:52pm – Were the gaphics team playing styx just now?
- 9:52pm – Graphics aside, no real gimmicks to distract – just stand in the middle of the stage and sing. Bonus points.
- 9:53pm – And bonus points to her for being able to perform if she’s as scared as she looks
- 9:53pm – And more bonus points because I liked that
Robin Bengtsson – “I Can’t Go On”
- 9:55pm – He’s not on stage and singing “I can’t go on” – that could be a problem!
- 9:56pm – That last girl was terrified and she went on
- 9:56pm – He’s finally plucked up the courage. I think he was faking it.
- 9:56pm – Good use of treadmills, there. ALways good to see treadmills used properly in musical performances.
- 9:57pm – Not enough bands do that.
- 9:57pm – Lead singer’s obviously a fitness freak – that’s the real reason for the treadmills
- 9:57pm – Didn’t want to give up his daily exercise schedule for the contest.
- 9:58pm – Ah – or maybe it’s because they wanted to do the moonwalk, but couldn’t master it.
- 9:58pm – In which case – CHEATING GITS!
Kristian Kostov – “Beautiful Mess”
- 9:59pm – He’s up WAAAAAAY past his bedtime
- 10:00pm – But I suppose it’s a special occasion
- 10:00pm – And not a schoolnight
- 10:00pm – Those screens around him need to be tuned in properly
- 10:00pm – Eurovision’s on BBC1 – put that on
- 10:01pm – This is actually the second UK entry – he lives on Wimbledon Common, and he’s a great uncle.
- 10:01pm – I expect he makes good use of the things everyday folk leave behind.
- 10:01pm – The things people leave behind = a mess
- 10:01pm – Hence the song title “beautiful mess”
- 10:01pm – See? It all makes perfect sense.
- 10:02pm – And that’s definitely USS Voyager they’ve used for the stage set.
- 10:02pm – I really can’t stop seeing it as that now.
- 10:04pm – Definitely Voyager
- 10:04pm – Graphics are making me think of Dark City.
- 10:04pm – When the city changes. Tuning?
- 10:05pm – She therefore needs some ‘strangers’ on stage
- 10:05pm – Ah – this isn’t really France – it’s the UK’s third entry.
- 10:06pm – We’ve had are main one, then Wimbledon Common – now Blackpool
- 10:06pm – Even a lass from Lancashire can learn to speak (and sing) in French.
- 10:06pm – In fact, perhaps the whole thing is one big con.
- 10:06pm – The truth is the whole of Eurovision is really just a UK thing.
- 10:06pm – They’re all from this country, pretending to be from all over Europe.
Interlude between performances and score-giving
Interlude at 2:06:50 into the Contest
- 10:07pm – Oh – that was the last one
- 10:07pm – That went surprisingly quickly
- 10:08pm – WTF is this?
- RT Holger Palmroth 10:09pm – I bet she has Wifi.
- 10:10pm – There were too many strong entries this year – only a few I could properly take the piss out of.
- 10:10pm – Though I did try. 🙂
- 10:13pm – I suppose if I nab my tweets tomorrow and throw them on misc.vinceh.com I’m going to have to add some images
- 10:14pm – Otherwise some of what I said may not make much sense when looked at in future
- 10:15pm – I think I want Belgium to win just because of how scared that girl seemed to be. She deserves to do well if she was that scared
- 10:16pm – Wait, what? DId he mention zombies?
(I’m pretty sure I heard Graham Norton say something about zombies at this point, but I can’t be 100% certain!)
- 10:17pm – Chainmail costume? If that’s a zombie defence, it needs to cover arms and legs as well.
- 10:18pm – Where are the zombies? I was promised zombies!
- 10:18pm – Or did I mishear Norton?
- 10:19pm – Kudos to the makers of Star Trek for donating the USS Voyager frame.
- 10:21pm – I think I’ve done well at not making too many typos tonight. Despite the cider.
(On rereading these tweets in order to put this post together, however, I can see a lot more than I thought I’d made on the night!)
- 10:24pm – I actually have work to get done tomorrow, so perhaps archiving these tweets on my website will have to wait if I’m to add pics
- 10:24pm – I’ll do the quick bit – grab the tweets – and save them into a draft post, and add pictures/publish later in the week.
- 10:25pm – Why is she wearing a tent?
- 10:25pm – COstumes inspired by Hazel O’Connor
- 10:26pm – On the eighth day… etc
Hazel O’Connor – “Eighth Day”
- 10:27pm – Actually, no, Star Wars stormtroopers
- 10:29pm – Is the guy in black supposed to be a samurai?
- 10:29pm – Last time I saw hats like that, monkeys were wearing them
- 10:30pm – This is very strange, but I like it.
- 10:31pm – I think those literally are Star Wars Storm Trooper costumes – bought from a fancy dress shop or something
- 10:31pm – The sciencefiction is stong in this one
- 10:32pm – I need to open MORE CIDER!
- 10:35pm – That took a moment – I got confused about which end of he tin opener opened bottles
- 10:35pm – This is Emperor Ming’s granddaughter
- 10:36pm – Sorry – forgot the hashtag #eurovision This is emperor Ming’s granddaughter
- 10:37pm – That snippet of the two on the boat thing – made me think how funny it would have been if her dress ha been caught in the fans
- 10:40pm – Snippet of Cyprus and I see a reference I missed: Could’ve commented about them doing a poor version of the Madness silly walk
Madness – “Night Boat to Cairo” (The trademark silly walk is only a few seconds in!)
- 10:44pm – Why bother filming it on your phone?
- 10:44pm – The proper footage will be on YouTube, surely?
- 10:45pm – Which makes me think – the best way to present these tweets would be to copy the videos and overlay them. But copyright.
- 10:46pm – Bit late now, but… when that bloke mooned the audience – was it during a bum note?
- 10:47pm – Boom boom!
(or bum bum!)
- 10:48pm – Great hair, Sweden!
- 10:49pm – The Azerbaijan bloke was woken up to present the vote
- 10:49pm – 12 points to Belarus – the small Welsh town
- 10:50pm – Just spotted that the San Marino bloke is a cut out
- 10:50pm – More great hair – Latvia
- 10:51pm – Just noticed that we have some points. That’s a bonus.
- 10:51pm – So early, too.
- 10:54pm – WHat? Miss Universe? Do they still do that stuff?
(The hosts mentioned the 2016 Miss Universe in reference to the woman giving Malta’s votes)
- 10:54pm – Why don’t we get that in the UK?
- 10:56pm – “Good evening from Denmark – where I am” – well, duh!
- 10:56pm – “Vienna calling” – wasn’t that by the bloke that did “Rock Me Amadeus” ?
- 10:57pm – A young Ant and Dec from Norway.
- 10:58pm – Norton called that presenter Vulva again. Someone please tell me I’m hearing that wrong. He’s not really called that is he?
- 10:59pm – Hang on – Is this the German performer giving the French vote?
- 11:01pm – Sex-change Bjork is doing well
- 11:02pm – Great Uncle Bulgaria is still in the running though
- 11:03pm – Can’t blame Dec for trying to flirt with some of the vote givers
- 11:05pm – Nipped out – came back and… WTF? Again.
- RT Andrew Poole 11:05pm – This is the “we ran out of ideas” part of the show…
- 11:07pm – OKay, did a search – so that was previous Ukraine entrant. They have a sense of humour, then. Phew.
- 11:08pm – No surprise that Iceland gave 12 points to sex-change Bjork. She/he was originally from there, obviosuly
- 11:10pm – Blimey. Thanks Australia!
- 11:13pm – The Swiss vote giver likes Diversity. I’m sure they’re naff.
- 11:14pm – POTATOES!
(Look, I watch Celebrity Juice, okay?)
- 11:15pm – Good on you, Ireland, for give scared-girl 12
- 11:16pm – The vote from Wales
(Belarus – I’m obviously referring back to my earlier comments about it being a small Welsh town)
- 11:16pm – That’s a strange Welsh accent
- 11:17pm – Judging by her dress, she’s straight off to an ‘interesting’ party after giving Romania’s vote
- 11:19pm – Just spotted that we are in the top half. Should really be just at the top of the bottom half, to mark the 52/48%
- 11:20pm – Katrina (and the Waves) FTW!
- RT DIMBLEBOT 11:23pm – ACTIVATING TERRIFYING VOTE RANDOMISATION
- 11:25pm – I worked out earlier that this is purely a UK thing masquerading as Euro-wide…the secret’s out, so why bother with accents?
- 11:27pm – Said Austria should have resurrected Mozart
- 11:28pm – Our 12 points in the public vote were from sympathy voters
- 11:29pm – Just noticed that Ant and Dec are in the Mekon’s bowl thing.
- 11:30pm – That would have been particularly good if it was the real Ant and Dec, becaue one of them has a high forehead. Forget which.
- 11:30pm – https://duckduckgo.com/?q=the+mekon&iax=1&ia=images
- 11:33pm – Had my fingers crossed for Belgium there. Scared girl impressed me.
- 11:35pm – Sex change Bjork wins it, then,
- 11:35pm – It was a weird one, but oddly enjoyable
- 11:38pm – On the bright side, Portugal’s win reduces the UK’s travel costs next year – not as far as it could have been.
- 11:38pm – I wanna say that I’m going to change back to a woman and call myself Bjork again.
- 11:40pm – Good timing. My battery is almost at the point it’ll shut down.
As a final conclusion, if you refer back to my comments about where the UK should end up in the scores, at 11:19pm I suggested we should end up at the top of the bottom half of the scoreboard, to represent our 52%/48% EU referendum result. Here’s that final scoreboard: